well, for some reason that only the building illuminati know, i have been without hot water this weekend. this poses a problem for me since i shower every single morning without fail. in fact, in the past 5 years, i can only think of a few times when i have not taken a steaming hot shower in the morning. so after skipping yesterday and not bathing at all, i awoke this morning with still no hot water.

as thoughts ran frantically in my head, i realized that i only had 3 options:

1. take a cold shower.
2. take a shower somewhere else.
3. heat up water on the stove and gradually fill up the bath tub, then wash like in the olden days.

of these options, number 3 seemed to be the most feasible. i immediately commenced filling every pot i had with water (some clean, some not. whatever. don't judge me.) and putting them on my ignited stovetop. after several hours of transporting boiling water over carpet and into the bathtub, i noticed that the tub was only 1/4 full. so much for that idea.

i decided that the best i could hope for was a lukewarm kind of bath. i'd fill up the tub about half full and then turn on the normal tub water. at least i could get clean, even if i couldn't relax in the hot healing waters. I turned on the tub water. Except water didn't come out. Instead of clear agua, i get some kind of mud/poop mixture that plops into my beautiful hot boiling water, instantly polluting it. sigh.

at this moment, i feel like i'm a hot dog left out in the sun; developing an entirely new exoskeleton/salt-cured layer of skin. i am basically stewing in my own filth right now and i hate it. i can't wait to go home take a friggin' hot shower. on the other hand, my hair has never looked better. or more greasy.